i've forgotten what it's like to be sad. really sad, where i just want to go upstairs and wallow in my room and snap if anyone tries to talk to me. with all the anti-depressants and counceling, they tried to convince me that being sad makes you bad. and i'm not bad. i'm not anything but sad. i'm sad. and it's okay. i'm okay.


maybe it's different now. maybe i'm going crazy, saying i haven't laughed in a long time, because i have. i really have laughed. big, belly-shaking, laughs. but they never seem to mean as much any more. and i don't think i can let this happen to me. i have to find a way to make my laughs more important.