Monday, April 23, 2001

I know, I know, I'm copying Christa. Hey, it's a compliment, right?


What is happening? What is really really going on with us? You'll say something that makes me so happy, but I can't ever tell what you're thinking. I can't decipher you. I can't ever figure you out. How you take things, what's your perspective. These are the questions I long to know the awnser to, yet they remain un-awnsered. Music and words are my life, and you are so much more than both. Every day I love you more, and every day I love you less. Deciding which day it is confuses me. Maybe I should just forget trying.

"God help me this time
I'm really trying to try
I just feel like I'm waiting
for nothing
I float on a line
my hearts been pounding all day
like I've been running away
I know this evening you'll be sleeping
where I wanna be
maybe I'll just run away
till I cry you out of me
we could meet in my mind
leave this all behind
I just wanna taste you
and face you
reflect in your eyes
maybe I'll just run away
Till I cry you out of me...."

I feel like that most of the time...all I can think about is you, and every once in a while I'll forget. And I can't tell whether to feel guilty, or to be relived. Because I don't know how you feel, or how you think I feel. I know I shouldn't base how I'm going to act on what others think. I can't tell the ground from the sky, or your face from my heart. Maybe the lines are blurring, maybe the sun is fading. Maybe my vision is leaving me....



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