Today was very bleh. Lucia's in the hospital b/c she OD'd, and Kat gave her some advil before she knew anything is going on and everything's just...bleh. And I don't want to BE here, I'd much rather just be able to be sad about all that's going on. I always try try try to help these people and all that happens is tears and regrets from opening myself up so much. Why can't it be better? I want to be happy.