Tuesday, June 03, 2003

Mander came to Mutual with me, and we sacrificed her heathen self in due time. I painted my nails black today in third period and feel really lame and wierd and ehh it itches and feels wierd. I wore my Proud to Be An American Girl shirt today and only like 3 people got it. The rest were like "I had those dolls!" Also, that stupid kid in my photography group was like "Proud to be an American with a towel on her head...psh" because of my bandana...gah i hate him so much. And I'm listening to Dashboard Confessional again, kinda odd but yeah...half makes me laugh and half reminds me of being in love with Fruity and following him around everywhere ever and late nights at Wendy's and crying about over him. ew. But yeah. Why do I waste all the good music on dumb experiences? Bleh.

School's really really almost over. I didn't learn anything at all, the closest thing I had to learning was a quiz in American History, but we're watching Gone With the Wnid tomorrow in there so I'm safe from more learning and gross stuff like that. Let's see tomorrow--Sculpture, we're cleaning, Health, have no idea, Chem doing nothing, study hall, english practicing for interviews, french doing nothing except being sad about madame leaving, algebra, nothing. whoo! Bleh. I hate not doing anything and ahhh. My mortality doesn't scare me as much as time that cannot be reclaimed. I don't like being older [not being old, specifically, but having changed] even though I know it's for the best. Man.

ways i have changed this year:

worry less
laugh more
don't wash my clothes as much [almost a month in these pants]
learned people aren't perfect
learned how to draw into myself when i can't change my enviornment
prayer, oh my goodness, prayer
love lasts. throughout everything.
i want the season to be the opposite of what it is [id est, dreaming of crisp weather now, and crying for the lack of heat in october]
so much for controlling the weather. we'll leave that to him.

current mood: wistful
current music: the best deceptions by dashboard confessional

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