Tuesday, October 11, 2005


i found this site from joey comeau, whom i stalk. he also write a softer world.

here are a few of my favorite testimonials:

Brianna K.: "Iron Hymen taught me how to use super-effective strategies for just abstaining from natural stuff. And it works so good, that now when I get all old, I'm going to abstain from wrinkles and dying, too!"

Muffy P.: "OHMIGOD, like, Iron Hymen taught me to respect myself way too much to ever let some hairy creep hock man-lugies on my Godly cervix like it's some gross subway platform!"

also, the pledge:

I, [your name here], hereby pledge:

To never wear trampy stuff like shorts or t-shirts or open-toed shoes, which basically tell horny perverts that I'm a major tramp who's just asking for it.

To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises.

To never have premarital sex, because Jesus doesn't want anyone messing around inside my girly hole until after His church makes some money off a wedding.

also, check out sex is for fags. because it really, really is.


Blogger Christa said...

So I'm in the Joseph Fielding Smith Building and there are two married men studying, three people with scriptural texts open, and some woman just wandered in with a toddler.

Good thing I have you to keep the bubble pried open just a little bit. ;-)

Seriously tho, I almost surreptitiously glanced over my shoulder while reading that. I think Provo's getting to me!

12:38 PM  

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