Tuesday, February 09, 2010

snowed in bramblings.

Heading up to Indiana in a few days for a weekend retreat. I'm excited to see everyone, so much so that I'm getting impatient and angsty that I'm not there yet. At the same time, I get apprehensive and nervous every time I go back. Maybe it's because the time I spent there was in a constant state of upheaval. Maybe because I get nervous to see old friends and realize that everyone keeps changing every day. I'm happier now than I have been in years, which is obviously a good thing, but I'm not the same girl that everyone knew and finding out if new me will like old friends just as much scares me. It's almost as if this huge production that seems to happen every time I visit is, while flattering and endearing, a little over the top. I want to be around often enough that there isn't so much anticipation and planning involved.

Honestly, I'm probably just tired. Had a really (really) busy day at work today and wanted to have some fun tonight but it's almost eleven o'clock and the snow isn't letting up anytime soon, so it's homebodying for me and mine.

I think I spend too much time planning, not enough time doing.