Sunday, March 28, 2004

compliment of the week:

supercow489: i like the way you punctuate

beat that.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

if i were a grown-up, and made my own money, and had to go shopping, i would get:

-yellow and green fabric to make a skirt of
-wine goblets
-red rubber rain boots
-lemon zinger tea
-button-making machine
-"Strange Little Girls"
-sparkly orange nail polish
-white undershirts
-baby blue gingham jacket
when i grow up, i'll turn the tables...

i remember listening to this in the summer in reston next to the kitchen, full blast. i can't remember who told me to download it. either christa or patrick. and being absolutly amazed and entranced by it.

chaos rules when we're apart

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

still miss christa a lot, now that i think about it. so, playlists, and daydreams and sneaking in a phone call as soon as i can.

last night [or maybe this morning--i can't really remember] i was daydreaming about the perfect boy moving into our ward and me seeing him in sunday school [and he was wearing an argyle sweater and a shirt with the collar turned up in the back and his hair was just enough messy, and just enough long and gorgeously thick]. as he was introducing himself and telling about himself, he said he liked rainer maria and i quickly explained my love for them, and he asked if i liked the poet, and i told him my copy of letters to a young poet is thoroughly marked. we quickly went on to discuss his love of string instruments [he plays viola] and desire to learn guitar. also: he loves smashing pumpkins and intently participated in the lesson.

basically, he's a hybrid of herself and myself. but a boy.

wish you were here
i stayed home sick today. don't tell, but i probably could've forced myself to go. but i woke up with 'pretty good year' playing in my head, and i couldn't bare to spend today in that terribly gray place. so i'm here, taking care of my darling baby brother. dad says to drown a cold and feed a fever, and i'm chugging away. there's leftover strawberry tart that i don't think anyone will miss, so i'll take part in that after a while.

and i'm going to france. it's more or less official. what's truly wonderful is i can probably go to myrtle beach and girl's camp. ohh genius. france....*swoon* madame said i'm "the perfect candidate". yippee. i'm in a very good mood right now.

but i still miss christa.

pretty good year

Saturday, March 20, 2004

everything that brings us together is falling apart
i got this thing that i consider my only heart...

i have terrible jealousy issues. product of education, i suppose.

tomorrow are france interviews. so far, the president is jacques chirac, prime minister is jean-pierre raffarin, and elections were last held for a 5-year term in may and april of 2002. i'm going to die. nix that, je vais mourir. i have to get a la mode francaise.

kyle and i went job-hunting today in the gray minivan. i love driving. the sky was almost raining when 'perfect' was on, and as soon as 1979 hit the airwaves sun broke through. and those, ladies and gentlemen, are my testimony moments.
last night was heather's suprise partay. très fun. we played the flour game and the screaming game and sat around eating pizza and laughing. mormons throw the best parties, i tell ya what. the littler buergers are spending the night tonight, and i have interviews for france tomorrow. and my gut feels volcanic because i'm so nervous. eh.

who wouldn't be the one you love?
who wouldn't stand inside your love?

someone should date me.

Sunday, March 14, 2004

I was shrunk today. My dad says I don't look any smaller.

So, I love Patrick. Beth let me borrow The Perks of Being A Wallflower and it depresses me every time I put it down, but I like reading it anyways. And the boy in it reminds me of Patrick, but patrick seems more concise. And he made me a CD that I love. And I need the playlist so I can put a finger on those notes and words. And it's good, right now. Even with being shrunk and having to feel so emotionally awkward and hidden all the time. Because I put a mask on my face today and while I was showering I pretended I was in the videos for Tallulah and Putting the Damage On and Kyle got his license and we're going to peel out of the parking lot tomorrow afternoon in big sunglasses.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

it's not like i can't feel you still

i worked in the library fifth period with elle today, and in the box of scrap magazines i found a rolling stone from 1998 with tori on the cover. so i'm almost done the gorgeous article and i'm listening to everything i have of hers on repeat. genius. and she's still around, and she can't "break up" like everything else i've ever loved. i hope not, anyways. also: took la grande concourse today, ate too much pizza. i think i'm sick now--though, not from the pizza. that bug going around.

must-see tv tonight.

still, pretty good year.

were i so eloquent. soliloquent.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Someone asked if the root word 'mor/mort' is related to 'Mormon' today in English class. That someone was almost Kayla. It made me laugh thoroughly. Hmm what else. I'm dying for a record player. And wondering where I put my vinyl gish. crap. ok, fewf, i just got up to check on it, and it's where i left it. scared me for a second. i was afraid it was lying in pieces on my floor.
tomorrow's la grande concourse. i'm staying after to take a french test, and eat pizza with madame. today after losing something and coming back to look for it, she commented "if you had paid attention in class, this wouldn't have happened." At my exclamation of the utter irrelevence of the two, she said "I know, but it's a Petit Prince thing." Made me laugh and love her. I want to wear a skirt tomorrow. It's been colder lately, though. Ick.

so that's neat.
hey, hey, hey, bobby mcgee

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

wore my favorite yellow shirt today, that's soon to say johnny are you queer. so much for good luck, tho--miss fasch gave me detention. bleh. whacha gonna do. i'm not too broken up over it, tho. i haven't seen mr. miller all year, so we'll get to catch up.
i'm so freaking tired. slept through sixth, seventh, and eight today. tonight at mutual we're making a time capsule and then playing dodgeball. what could make more perfect sense.
i had a dream about alex the other day--she had a concussion and mr. gable was telling me to take her to a mormon gym. but make sure she doesn't fall. i don't really remember now.
i keep missing seminary and not feeling bad because i like being with my family so much in the mornings. which i'm sure means i'm going to hell. crap.
i made roxie pee her pants today. she's a comic genius--mostly because she gets all my jokes. also the playing off of them.
frick. im sleepy. ima robot. ima goin to see rainer maria if everything works out okay. delicious. she says i'm okay, i'm alright--though you have gone from my life; you said that it would, now everything should, be alright.
ima take a nap. who needs to do homework when you can sleep the stress away.
started re-reading alanna: the first adventure yesterday. already half done. i love that girl/woman/figment.

Sunday, March 07, 2004

soooooo today.
i was really greasy and gross looking this morning because i bathed my hair in moose [ha, ha.] and wax and that was très gross. but after a shower or two, i was presentable; at least enough so that i could help austin with his aspirations of a house made out of branches in our volleyball pit. And roxie and amanda and billy and i went to DQ--which was on the sucky side, except for my rasberry shake. and bowling was uber-fun, as always. mmm good times. then rox and manda split and we had a sheppwards-buerger fete, and kyle and david and austin and i stayed till about 10 minutes ago [1:30] having a good ole time. b. doug read us dave sedaris i carried a watermelon. i know i'm a homebody and a dork and everything, but i have a lot more fun with kyle and david and austin than you'd think normal. hmm. nonetheless, we learned new driving techniques. should david fall asleep at the wheel, kyle mans the steering, and i shout out 'brake' and 'faster'. so that'll be neat. we almost crashed into a truck.
very tired right now. have to get up in a few hours for church and it's fast sunday. très tired--and i miss my bed. the twins have taken it over. it look sso delicously comfortable right now. and ah! i jsut looked over at them and i'm pretty sure ali has her shirt off. whatever, i woke up this morning in undies and not much of a tshirt because this room gets so hot at night. it's ever-so-slightly inconvienent that this is the only room in the house that heats well, and that everything else absolutley sucks. bleh.
i carried a watermelon?

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Just finished The Folk of the Fringe by Orson. Mmmm. I love him so much. I'm talking to Cody, too, the tall kid from school. Apparently he hates me, because he sure is being quiet. Whatev, 's coo.
Patrick and I decided we're going to Russia on our honeymoon.
Buergers were coming over, I wonder what happened with that.
I'm listening to "Night Moves" by Mr. Seger on repeat. Kyle always makes fun of me cause I do things like this. Play and play and play a song till I know every lyric. But by that time I'm pretty bored with it. Nonetheless, I'm still momentarily obsessed.
I'm such a bad Mormon. points all her own, psh.

and o-o-oh
the wonder
i felt the lighning
and waited on the thunder
waited on the THUUUNDEEEERR

i awoke last night to the sound of thunder
how far off, i sat and wondered
started humming a song from ninteen sixty-two
ain't it funny how the night moves
when you just don't seem to have as much to lose
strange how the night moves
with autumn closing in....