Wednesday, August 29, 2001

I just had a Tonight Tonight moment. I tried my best to explain the feeling you get once, and I let my mom read it. She thought it was love, and I was trying to describe music. The incredible feeling that song gives me is replaced by nothing...I want to be somewhere else, but bring the song with me and create a way for it to play around me and not out of a machine. To make it be alive. The essence. The hope....the drastic difference between closing your eyes and having them open. The beauty and uttermost happiness you feel, and want to feel for everyone else.
I just got in a blogging mood, due to a request for the URL of this site. Even though I brought up the

Patrick is incredibly cool. We went to see a movie on Saturday night, and I was showered [as good guy friends do] with compliments about how good my hair smells and how "lay-able on" my shoulder is. We spent a couple of minutes in Boarders [I love books], stole SO much honey from Starbucks, and spent about an hour or so in Best Buy, hiding all the Smashing Pumpkins CD's so that no one else can buy them. Muhahahaha! I love music though. I'm at Denise's, and I turned on MTVX and Smashing Pumpkins' Zero came on. It seems like it would be a silver/black video [I think of things in color schemes-Christa knows], but it was really....well done. It didn't reflect the songs very much, but in a way that it didn't take away from the music and instead added to it.

So much for that blogging mood. I'm finding more and more lately that I have nothing left to say.
How classicly guy is this?!:

"I mean if you were girl it'd be prolly different, they'd go draw pictures, or organize or read a magazine or something. But a guy since were lazy we'll sit here in front of our computer screen, and think, usually about sex, or about what they're going to eat next, or why they're favorite player got traded to x team in sports."

I know, I know, not all guys are sex driven, but theseare the kind of exceptions that make me [most women, for that matter] hate men at those ever so frequent PMS moments.

Tuesday, August 28, 2001

BAH, crappy computer is broken, tho it wouldn't have done much good for me if it was working while I was at the beach. Beach was....very hrm.

I'm missing Christa everly so much. I miss....everything. She's making it through school without me! Shall my ego survive this torrent of darkness?! Mayhap if I make a long distance call as soon as I get home tomorrow [I'm at Denise's because I was going through withdrawl without a computer. Seriously.].

I'm not in the mood to blog, which comes at perfect timing, of course. I'm sorry all of you faithful readers [and those who aren't Christa], but you don't get to hear all about my ever-so-exciting life.

Tuesday, August 14, 2001

I once again want to kill Christa's boyfriend. Who, despite her protests, IS her boyfriend.

Punkyelhsa: ha, the lead singer of Jane's Addiction is so creepy looking.
Opywankenobi: i didn't like all those sn's that were logged on
Opywankenobi: he is?
Punkyelhsa: yup
Punkyelhsa: lol
Opywankenobi: ok
Opywankenobi: cool?
Punkyelhsa: haha, dunno, it's just....yes, cool.
Opywankenobi: okey dokey, pokey
Punkyelhsa: I wish I was ice.
Opywankenobi: nice?
Opywankenobi: or ice
Punkyelhsa: that'd be fun, I'd go around and make people cold, and they'd be like 'brr! That sure is cold! I wonder what it is..."
Opywankenobi: hahha
Opywankenobi: you're good
Punkyelhsa: and I would say "IT IS I! ICEY PANTS!" and they would tremble in fear, oh yes they would.
Opywankenobi: tremble in cold
Punkyelhsa: No. In fear-cold.
Opywankenobi: no
Opywankenobi: i think they would be cold
Punkyelhsa: One emotion, that can only be envoked by...
Opywankenobi: and shivering
Opywankenobi: not trembling
Punkyelhsa: I! ICEY PANTS!
Opywankenobi: that would just be your ego
Opywankenobi: telling you that they are trembling in fear
Punkyelhsa: *sniffs*
Opywankenobi: but reality wouls say, "they are cold."
Punkyelhsa: :'( that was not very nice
Opywankenobi: i know
Opywankenobi: sometimes reality has a habit of doing that to us
Opywankenobi: ;-)
Opywankenobi: i'm your voice of reason...
Opywankenobi: you are sleepy
Opywankenobi: very sleepy
Punkyelhsa: No, I really am not. Just saddy.
Punkyelhsa: hrmph
Opywankenobi: luv you, too
Opywankenobi: schnookums
Punkyelhsa: I do not love you, you are a meanie mean head.
Opywankenobi: and you are tired
Opywankenobi: i know
Punkyelhsa: I'm not!
Opywankenobi: uh hunh
Punkyelhsa: I'm SO not!
Punkyelhsa: bah go die you big ugly fatso DUMB
Punkyelhsa: Cus I am not sleepy.
Punkyelhsa: Or infantile. =P
Opywankenobi: you are correct
Punkyelhsa: I am always.
Opywankenobi: however...
Opywankenobi: you are worn out
Opywankenobi: from the days workings
Punkyelhsa: I'M NOT STOP IT
Punkyelhsa: STOP IT!
Opywankenobi: which has in effect
Punkyelhsa: NOOOO
Opywankenobi: altered your perception of yourself
Opywankenobi: so, you are correct to yourself
Opywankenobi: but in reality
Punkyelhsa: I'm married to my brother.
Opywankenobi: you are tired
Opywankenobi: infantile
Opywankenobi: and ready for bed
Punkyelhsa: STOP IT
Opywankenobi: what?
Punkyelhsa: I'M NOT TIRED
Opywankenobi: let's go
Punkyelhsa: I gtg now, Christa's kicking me off.
Opywankenobi: aww....
Punkyelhsa: So I'll leave you two alone. ;-)
Opywankenobi: poor you
Opywankenobi: pez buddy
Opywankenobi: ok
Punkyelhsa: Cus I don't really like cereal that mucha nyways.
Punkyelhsa: *anyways
Punkyelhsa: Bye!
Opywankenobi: would you like my heart to go with it?
Opywankenobi: ok
Punkyelhsa: No, too chewy.
Opywankenobi: bye

I'm not tired. Hrmph.

Monday, August 13, 2001

Well, I went to my first stake dance. For those of you who aren't Mormon, when someone turns 14 they can go to dances, and it's usually treated as a big deal. SO I dressed up in my jeans and favorite shoes [Vans!] and hoped someone would ask me to dance. And hoped. And hoped. And gave up, and asked someone to dance that doesn't seem to like to open his mouth for any reason, certianly not to talk to me. There were punks there, and they were oh so pretty. Didn't know there were Mormon punks. =) It was a nice suprise. Tho, I don't think they noticed me.... =( That's why all boys should die.
Christa's here. =) I haven't been updating much, because she's really the only one I know that reads it. If you do happen to be reading this, and you're not Christa, email me. []

Monday, August 06, 2001

Off to school we go! It's the second to last day of school, and it's mandatory that I go. Bah. But everything's fine, because it's only 2 DAYS!!!!! And I'm going to make her listen to punk and ska, but only the GOOD stuff like LTJ and Bouncing Souls and train her to do my jump [while yelling 'huah']. =) Right now I'm listening to Paranoid of Every Sound....don't know who by, but that's okay!

Oh yay! It's time for a fun day of learning and fun and maybe if I'm lucky.....cheese balls!

Saturday, August 04, 2001

AHHHH SHE'S ALMOST HERE AND IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME and I don't know HOW we're going to fit all that we want to say into 8 days....but I'll have a good time trying. =)

Friday, August 03, 2001

Jon is so awesome...he's a cool guy all around. I'm glad I know him. =) He's fun to talk to.

I went over to David's house today with Faiad. I sat there watching them play multiple computer games for about 1.5-2 hours. 'twasn't fun. BUT I did have a good time, and I ended up not going burning b/c I hung out with them. David's funnier when he's with Faiad. We ate "barf pizza" which wasn't as bad as I had anticipated, and I drew on Faiad's cast. I honestly kinda think David was either mad at me, or jealous of Faiad. I don't mean to, but I flirt with him a lot. He's my 'brother' and it honestly isn't anything more than physical attraction, and not even that much. BUT I do flirt with him, I think even more than I did with David when we were going hrm. Maybe I need to work on my girlfriend skills. Whatever. I don't want a boyfriend right now. Boys suck, they should all die. They'll be subjected to Midol as no human has before. =)

Thursday, August 02, 2001


If anyone is interested in joining the "Kill Stan" club, email me at []. Stan being my mom's boyfriend. I had a dream that they were getting married. I'm going to shoot myself if that happens. Or at least never spend any time at home. If any of my friends are reading this, know that I'm living at your house if the aforementioned does take place. UGH he's so annoying. I don't really care if they get married except for two things. 1) He BETTER not try to act like our dad, and make us hug him and crap like that. 2) My mom completly ignores us when he's around. When he was over, she didn't seem to notice that she has five kids and is supposed to acknowledge thier existence.

I'm just so bummed out over everything. I had THE wierdest dream last night. In it, Patrick and Sean and I were all...near this one place that I had dreamt about before. I think in that one I got mugged or someone else did or something. Anyways. Patrick was inside [we were at his house] and was arguing with his parents or something, then Sean came back outside [don't know where he was in the first place-I was in a car alone] and he like, came in and sat by me, and we kissed and I don't know, it was really wierd. He is a cutie. Maybe it's a sign. That I should never ever ever kiss him or, we'll be in a car. It was a cool car, too. lol

I'm sick of the world right now. Of parents anyways. All I wanna do is hang out at either people's houses or the Town Center. Right now I have no problem lying to my mom about when movies end or what have you. I keep remembering Mandy's last night at the Town Center [I think that's when it was] and we walked around for an hour and went to the construction site and of course, I ended up getting busted by my parents. Of course if I didn't call I was mugged. You'd think after all the times I've forgotten to call [or decided not to] and nothing has happened to me they wouldn't be as worried. I'm not stupid, I'm not going to go into any dark alleys. I WANT TO GO VANDALIZE SOMETHING. Guess I'll have to settle for writing on the desks at school.

Wednesday, August 01, 2001

I'm on the way back from hating everything. Everyone. Everyone sucks. Utterly and forever. Or until I change my mind. I'm just so...ack. I need some time alone. As creepy and wierd as it sounds, humans are getting on my nerves. I don't think there's an alternative [that I can get in touch with], tho. I'm bummed....I needc to "get back to nature" or whatever. Spend a little time alone somewhere. Don't know what I'd do. I doubt I will. I'm so pessimistic right now. ARGH everything sucks. I'm listening to Dave Matthews Band, and the lyrics are just making me hate the world even more. I don't know why I'm being so cynical! But I am. Grr....hrmph.