Sunday, June 29, 2003

Whoo! I'm at my dad's! I'm leaving tomorrow after church for EFY for a week. I'm really really excited. I'm going with Krissie and a couple of ladies from the ward [Don't remember any specifics]. But none of them are in my age group so I'll be bunking toute le sol. I'm a little bummed out about that, especially as I'll be with people entirely younger than me [turning sixteen in 26 days!] which means no dates. hrmm. oh well. i'm not too upset over it. i'm really tired tho. oh man so tired. Probably should be getting to bed right about now. Maren's been hanging all over me, but it's been more than welcome. she's so purty and petite. well, au revoir! i'm off to visit the shores of sleep.

current mood: fatigued
current music: ezra and kendrick arguing themselves to sleep

Monday, June 23, 2003

This morning I was woken up at the ungodly hour of 8:30. AM. Having stayed up till 2 watching Pleasantville and having proceeded to read Harry Potter until 4, when I decided it was high time to bathe myself, I fell asleep thusly at 4:30 in the AM. So! 4 hours of sleep and typing and sorting and printing is not my idea of fun--not this early, anyway. But hey, I just got 20 bucks! So holy crap I have 30 dollars in my posession. But I have to pay tithing and then some because I forgot last time I was paid.

FLOGGING MOLLY WAS AMAZING!!! Amanda and I made sweet sweet love by a fire to Kyle's friend slash danced and sang next to him. Kyle thinks I really loved him and eh....not so much. But oh my goodness. They played Kilburn High Road and Salty Dog and What's Left of the Flag and Black Friday Rule [which is a very very long song...] and a buttload of others I can't recall at the moment. It was so wonderful and ohh my goodness. They played Rebels of the Sacred Heart something like second to last and that's Kyle's favorite song and we were all dancing out our happy and I jumped in the pit and skanked and screamed the lyrics to every song except for What's Left of the Flag--alas, I don't know it very well a'tall. My feet are still a little sore from dancing in shoes that are really just a sock with rubber on the bottom for 5 hours. I got dehydrated somewhere near the end but got water so it's all gravy. We left at like 12:30 and stopped somewhere to pick up the new Harry Potter book on the way home. We took turns reading it aloud but I fell asleep halfway there [in nothing but my hoodie--scandalous. i've been doing that a lot lately. hrm]. But now I'm the farthest in the book and I love J.K. Rowling and long books that just keep on coming.

So right now I'm at work! I have a typewriter and computer with the internet [ours got shut off because tardo cable company got it mixed up with our next-door neighbors] and Prince Caspian and The Princess Bride and my CDs [currently my summer lovin' mix] so I'm set till noon, when mom-o comes to pick me up.

Why is Roxie sad? I had no idea. By the way I found my Polaroid hiding beneath my bookshelf/window thing next to my bed this morning. And I have moola, which means film. Even though it's like a thousand dollar per picture.

ew i smell like smoke. ahh and i'm ravenous. way to not eat because you were exhausted when you left the house. i hate the establishment, making me get up and miss mom's blueberry muffins from a box. meh. feel sorry for me.

current mood: sleepy
current music: story of my life by social distortion

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

So last night we got Heather to come to Mutual and had a blast slinging mud and diving into pools of dirty water. I got mud stuffed in my mouth twice and we figured out why it smelled/tasted so bad--fertilizer. Delicious. But I had such a blast. I love Mormon fun. I came home and write Ryan a letter and fixed the CD burner and made him a CD that I half want. I really wanna make one that's got all the good Luckie Strike songs on there, a little Barry White, a little Promise Ring, and a lot of Paris, Texas. I'm kinda in a beach mood at the moment. I'm also wearing my hoodie with only my super racy hot pink bra underneath. I was gonan go totally nudie but then I remembered everyone was here and I was babysitting so thought that might be a bit yick. I really really want to be at the beach. It's so shibby cold. I mean, yesterday my toes were freezing while playing in the mud and I almost said "We should've had this in June or something, so it'd be warmer,". So yeah. Gahr.

and I love you guys even if you do stupid things. you're both no worries. yesterday ryan asked what i wanted to listen to and i asked for ziggy marley and he gave me a wierd look. oh yeah i went out with him yesterday. we ran errands and went to pop deluxe. i got roxie a lime green go-go dress and me a frilly black and red and white patterned purty one. ryan got a eighties one with ugly eighties colors all over it [think teal and purple and pink. bleh] but hey he likes it so it's all good. he came by to say farewell last night and we spent a half an hour on the porch talking. he's so fun.

oh yeah lissa got dumped by her recent boyfriend and now her and her friends are running around the house half-naked [tank tops and shorts that go up to there] trying to help her through this hard time by calling him and harassing his friends. good times. i remember doing that in 7th grade...ah, three cheers for late bloomers.

current mood: excited [for friday]
current music: new dress by luckie strike

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

So I can't have food next to me when I'm on the computer. I just ate a good 12 oz of UTZ sourdough specials pretzels and I'm nigh to exploding. Mom and Gram went to visit someone who's having surgery on their knee sometime in the future in the hospital, so I'm babysitting. I got to sign a permission slip for Ali! I got asked if I was in college again, so woot for me. I'm talking to Jon even tho I haven't in a katrillion years and yeah he's cool. I miss my Reston friends. Good thing it's summer and Ariel has her license.
lissa's being a butt. i hate babysitting when the babies are too big for your butt.

current mood: bored
current music: devil went down to georgia by charlie daniels band
WOo! This weekend was pretty fun. I went to graduation and we cheered for Fruity and Ryan super crazy loud. I came home and hung out at my gram's till Ryan came to pick me up and we stayed out till 3:21 [how's that for photographic memory?] playing at the partay where ashley didn't know anyone and Denny's, having eye sex with Baby Love. Saturday was spent amongst my darling darling Patrick and Ariel. I showed them Yeah Yeah Yeahs but I don't think they love them as much as I do [yet]. Patrick burned me Pablo Honey and Version 2.0 and ohh man I love Radiohead soo much. I was going to go to a show that night but no dice because mom came to pick me up too late. Monday was spent lounging around and enjoying the summery laziness of it all. I spent the night at Gram's last night, and today we went to the lake. Amanda and I ran away from spiders, loathed cold water, found out specific bleh bleh things but hey life goes on. I had a really good time, it was exactly what I needed to relax and take my mind off things. I've been rather loaded down lately. I'm just a little baffled at how this could possibly be happening, and how someone who i respect so much's judgement could lapse that much but hey. things happen. i skipped mutual tonight for watching the sun set and fishing--that and it was a father daughter activity. we came home and stan paid for mander to fill up, and i was impressed again by how generous he is. =)

i was daydreaming about patrick all day, listening to pretty almost-rock and roll nestled betwixed achingly beautiful vocals and quiet but ever-so-introspective lyrics. dreamy boy.

i re-re-re-re-re-re-re-started alanna: the first adventure. i put them on patrick's afamed reading list but i don't think he'll fully understand their awesomeness unless he can become a 10-12 year old girl while reading them. they seem like they'll lose their magic if you don't have all the memories and inside jokes to back them up [ALANNA TO YOUR JONATHAN! she exclaimed, then covered her mouth, embarassed at how enthusiastically she named their relationiship]. But no worries, i still have the good ole loreena mckennit-jewel-ever after-nick days saved up on my mental hard drive.

and i wish you all would go away. i think patrick and ariel and christa and i should all just go somewhere, for a long time, and make carrot pesto soup and play with puppies all day and dance in the sunshine and create moonlight potions and forget that anything bad ever happened.

current mood: good question
current music: clocks by coldplay

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

Mander came to Mutual with me, and we sacrificed her heathen self in due time. I painted my nails black today in third period and feel really lame and wierd and ehh it itches and feels wierd. I wore my Proud to Be An American Girl shirt today and only like 3 people got it. The rest were like "I had those dolls!" Also, that stupid kid in my photography group was like "Proud to be an American with a towel on her head...psh" because of my bandana...gah i hate him so much. And I'm listening to Dashboard Confessional again, kinda odd but yeah...half makes me laugh and half reminds me of being in love with Fruity and following him around everywhere ever and late nights at Wendy's and crying about over him. ew. But yeah. Why do I waste all the good music on dumb experiences? Bleh.

School's really really almost over. I didn't learn anything at all, the closest thing I had to learning was a quiz in American History, but we're watching Gone With the Wnid tomorrow in there so I'm safe from more learning and gross stuff like that. Let's see tomorrow--Sculpture, we're cleaning, Health, have no idea, Chem doing nothing, study hall, english practicing for interviews, french doing nothing except being sad about madame leaving, algebra, nothing. whoo! Bleh. I hate not doing anything and ahhh. My mortality doesn't scare me as much as time that cannot be reclaimed. I don't like being older [not being old, specifically, but having changed] even though I know it's for the best. Man.

ways i have changed this year:

worry less
laugh more
don't wash my clothes as much [almost a month in these pants]
learned people aren't perfect
learned how to draw into myself when i can't change my enviornment
prayer, oh my goodness, prayer
love lasts. throughout everything.
i want the season to be the opposite of what it is [id est, dreaming of crisp weather now, and crying for the lack of heat in october]
so much for controlling the weather. we'll leave that to him.

current mood: wistful
current music: the best deceptions by dashboard confessional

Monday, June 02, 2003

Mander came over today and stayed till like 4. We chizilled and listened to Tori Amos and I bragged about how awesome Patrick is. *sigh* I adore that boy. We stayed up till 12 [I'm assuming--12:30? 11?] because he didn't want to let me go without finding the name of a poem in Leaves of Grass [a singer in the prison, i remembered]. man oh man he's so so dreamy. and..yeah. just happy. i woke up this morning crying partially because i was stressed about finals but mostly because i was tired. yet i still don't take a nap...

and school ends super duper crazy soon. i was about to whine about going back today on saturday night and realized i have 4 1/2 days left with ryan [in school, anyways]. and yeah. =( makes me sad. things are a LOT different than i thought they would be....people, situations, but yeha. christa's stayed pretty constant through it all. i almost told her last night "you're so becomming my best friend!" and then i realized that that position's already filled--by her. =)

i've been reading buttloads lately. i read the princess bride, started perelandra, the entire immortals series, and other various tamora pierce endeavors. what's even better is i have 3 or so books all lined up and ready for the start of summer. we're doing interviews on thursday in school and i have to dress pretty so i'm a little bit bummed out about that....and i'm trying to decide what to wear when we flash the graduating class fruity's name. oh good times. =)

i'd like to do a song of great political and social import....psh only sounds good because of backup singers. tardo.
current mood: pensive
current music: mercedes benz by janis joplin