Thursday, January 19, 2006

if i weren't for...

on the way back from french class i decided i needed a little pick me up, so i selected marvin gaye to accompany me. while grooving to "let's get it on"amongst frat boys, i realized that that song is the date rape anthem. here are a few samples of the lyrics:

there's nothing wrong with me loving you
and giving yourself to me could never be wrong

don't you know how sweet and wonderful life can be?
i'm asking you, baby, to get it on with me

you know what i'm talking about
come on baby
let your love come out
if you believe in love, let's get on
oooohhhh let's get it on, baby [this miiiiinute]
please get it on [ahhhhh]
i know that you know what i been dreamin' of
don't you, baby
[my body wants you, my body wants you]
my whole body's feeling love

dirty, huh?


i've been listening to a lot of modest mouse and broken social scene lately, via white headphones.
i like snow, even if it doesn't stick to the ground.
i've been apart from loverboy for almost three weeks [a record high] but i'm seeing him tomorrow.
i won $1000 playing bingo with my grandma.
i just ate a corn muffin.
one year ago on sunday i watched amelie and ate chili with this kid.
i have bangs now.
i like college.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.

i know this: i feel music. it's very rare that i find other people that i can talk to about what i feel when a chord catches you off guard, or how deeply a chorus goes through my soul. i found out that i wasn't alone when i read jack kerouac for the first time. since then, i don't know if i've ever really discussed it with anyone. i've written many papers in english class about that deep down shaking jumping that is so thick in the air when instruments are being played close by, or when a room full of people are crying in a theater. at funerals and weddings. when the people singing along drown out the music. but i've tried a few times to talk to people who have seen the same things as me, and it leaves me a little bit lonely. and i like to think that those closest to me can feel the beat but more often than not, i find myself standing [or as the case may be, dancing] alone. why is there not more life being lived? everyday mundane tasks aren't to be washed over, they in and of themselves contain everything! walt whitman, song of myself, on the road. late summer nights, crying over a song or a heartache. laying in someone's arms knowing something youve never known before. smiling on the sreet without realizing it. i want you to feel this with me. i want to give you love, love.

maybe i'm overly emotional.
maybe i've been in the house for too long.
maybe it's affection speaking.

but i love, love. and i don't want to lose that to anything.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Emotional Gimp Goals, part deux

be in a band
not sleep for at least 24 hours
astound someone
release 99 red balloons outside of mia's house
write beautiful words
have babies
go to a ball
start a skank pit
marry rich
kiss patrick swayze
be known
find the perfect jeans
have a library
own and fill a huge closet
go to an opera